Welcome to The Place of Refuge-Calming the Storm of Divorce

A resource for parents and their children!

Hello, I’m Mimi Lupin. I am the producer of The Place of Refuge: Calming the Storm of Divorce, a documentary  filmed at the actual place of refuge, in Kona, Hawaii close to where the dolphins play. The Place of Refuge is a metaphor for an inner place of peace, healing and forgiveness. Hawaii is like the soul of America…it’s a “state” of mind, a good place, a place we think of as a paradise. And, from its longstanding tradition of caring for families and children, Hawaiian culture offers parents everywhere a way to parent children who suffer during a time of divorce.

Our wish is to show what can take place during this difficult time in the life both children and their parents and avoid much of the trauma that is felt by both.  Making the World a Better Place Foundation, has created this most special documentary because children in the shadows of divorce are struggling and desperately need our help … our support … our compassion … and our attention!  I know about these scars as I was a child of divorce during the 1940s when this  was rarely mentioned and often spoken about in hushed tones. Parents felt it was a stigma and they had no idea of the impact that it could make on their children. So often it was a family secret, never to be revealed to anyone outside the family.

It is quite a different story today. Divorce is epidemic in our society, significantly affecting both adults and children’s emotions, behavior and productivity. This creates challenges in both workplace and our schools. Over fifty percent of children in the classroom have divorcing parents. Their hearts are hurting. Their psyches are wounded. And long-term emotional scars are too often the consequences. Children are often traumatized by what happens between their parents, and this trauma can last a life time, creating more trauma for themselves and others as well.

The pain unless healed never decreases for children because most parents don’t fully understand the impact their divorce has upon their children and don’t have the skills needed to make sure their children feel safe, protected and loved.  Hurt children, hurt other people. This is evident in many events seen in our society today seen by school shootings, drug and alcohol abuse and runaway children and teens. Parents can learn how to make this a much less traumatic experience for their children if they have the skills and know how.  This is what this film is all about.  Helping both hurting children and their parents find a way through this hurtful and often live long experience and come through the divorce less scared from the experience is imperative.  This is our goal!

Children caught up in their parents’ conflicts during and after divorce can experience any of the following signs:

  • Loss of concentration and attention
  • Declining grades and behavior problems
  • Withdrawal from family and friends
  • Anxiety, guilt, fear, confusion and emotional outbursts
  • Headaches, nervous tics and numerous health problems
  • Serious anger with one or both parents
  • Delinquency and substance abuse

Larry King is the host of The Place of Refuge: Calming the Storm of Divorce. This documentary was filmed by Bob Stone and Dr. Tom Vendetti, psychologist, both of whom live in Maui and are Emmy® award winning filmmakers. The film is produced by Mimi Lupin, M.A. L.P.C., L.S.S.P. (retired) and is designed to help parents understand divorce from their child’s perspective. The film is based on the findings of the latest brain science and how these findings are similar to the ancient Hawaiian traditions that have been so helpful to their culture.

In addition to these plans for this completed documentary, Dr. Michael Popkin, author of  the Active Parenting video programs, will develop a video based curriculum that will offer parents these ways to heal mind, body and spirit after divorce. Dr. Popkin’s parenting trainers will teach these skills at various Places of Refuge around the country.  This kind of help for parents is needed to protect children from the long term emotional scars and trauma of divorce and for children to  feel safe, protected and loved by both parents thus making our world a better place.

Making the World A Better Place Foundation is a 501 C 3 organization dedicated to helping divorcing parents prevent these emotional scars of divorce for their children. We are pleased to announce that PBS has accepted our film as one that can be aired on their stations. Now we are seeking $5,000 to complete post production and so that this one-half hour documentary  about the adverse effects of divorce on children and the healing that is possible, can be aired and parents can become  aware of these skills.

Most of this documentary was filmed in a sacred Hawaiian place where healing has taken place for centuries. Through the use of an ancient practice of forgiveness, healing and new brain science findings, parents are shown new ways to navigate through the rough emotional waters of divorce.  The film will touch the hearts of millions of divorcing parents and will encourage parents to discover the many healing opportunities for themselves and their children provided by national known experts in this field.

Experts  in the areas of emotional healing  suggest leading-edge therapies using neuroscience findings to heal mind body and spirit for both children and parents.  Vincent Felitti, M.D., world renowned physician who pioneered the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study presents his finding on all kinds of childhood trauma and particularly how the trauma of divorce can impact children if not handled well at that time.   His research of over 17,000 adults indicates how early trauma lives on within individuals and negatively affects their lives even as adults, unless addressed and healed.

Donations from Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club, the Mary Cabe Foundation, Entergy, Inc. and other organizations and numerous individuals have supported the production of this film.  The film is now complete and has been approved for airing by PBS however $5,000 is still needed for expenses to prepare the technical aspects required by PBS for viewing. It will also be viewed by psychologists and social workers at national conventions. Funds will also be raised to develop the video based training program for parents at places of refuge across the country so that parents can learn the necessary skills to protect their children from the long term trauma that is often the case for children of divorce.

We would appreciate any help that  potential sponsors might offer us in completion of this film.  A proposal  can be sent describing the levels of sponsorship that are available and what sponsors will receive as a result.  Thank you for your consideration of helping us in this important endeavor and this mission to protect innocent children when the trauma of divorce affects their family.


Mimi Lupin, L.P.C., L.S.S.P. (retired)
President, Making the World a Better Place Foundation